With almost half of first marriages ending unhappily, and an even greater percentage of second marriages doing the same, it’s apparent that the overload of self-help marriage books, Dr. Phil instant-therapy shows and widely-available marriage counseling is not keeping marriages from going under. However, every once in a while we find a relationship book that dazzles, and that is Dr. Scott Haltzman’s innovative, The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife’s Heart Forever.

Dr Haltzman, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University and a couples and individual counselor, noticed that many men in counseling held back with a serious hesitation to express their feelings and fears. He founded a web site, www.secretsofmarriedmen.com, as a way to research and support men’s marriage strategies, and after communicating with thousands of men, collected a vast amount of revealing information about men and marriage. The results have been skillfully distilled into this enlightening, helpful book that should be required reading for both men and women in relationships. The book celebrates the equality of the sexes and outlines their inborn strengths and skills. Be that as it may, the distinguishing message is that there are real and undeniable biological and emotional differences between men and women that must be comprehended and utilized to benefit the relationship, not to create more conflict.

The author explains, in a user-friendly style, why men don’t need to reinvent themselves in order to improve relationship skills. He describes the biological reasons why men and women differ in the ways they think and feel, particularly the structure of the brain that determines how we perceive the world, how we communicate and how we respond emotionally. It is understandable why so many gender traits frustrate and irritate, because we don’t comprehend them. Following the very compelling compare-and-contrast lesson on brain differences, the book devotes one chapter to each of the eight strategies that happily married men claim are the most important factors for enjoying a fulfilling marriage while retaining a strong sense of themselves as male.

The chapters include: Make your marriage your job Know your wife Be home now Expect conflict and deal with it Learn to listen Aim to please Understand the truth about sex Introduce yourself Each chapter has personal anecdotes, along with insight, advice and useful TO DO lists to help organize the material and facilitate following the action steps. Many marriages fail because of preconceived notions about how men and women should relate to each other. This book provides new and effective ways for men and women to understand and appreciate each other without obliterating the essential essence of their biology and their mental and physical make up. Dr Haltzman tells men that they are able to improve and save their marriages precisely because they have the innate skills to succeed in relationships.

The bottom line is that, “when men worked hard to improve their marriages using their inborn manly skills to put their wives’ needs above their own, not only did their marriages improve, but they were happier and more fulfilled than at any other point in their lives”. And women with important insight into why their husbands do what they do, help their men to be more successful partners.

Everybody flirts, yes even the married ones. Just because you got married it doesn’t mean you should lock the keys of the flirting and throw them in a deep well never to be found again. In fact this is when flirting becomes even more interesting. Get out of the house, flirt at every chance you get. For those people who look for adventure this should be the greatest adventure ever. The only rule about flirting when you are married is not to be caught doing it especially if your partner did not know you were doing it. You do not want a divorce file sent to you because your husband or wife caught you flirting and they got so hurt they could barely look at you again. Flirting when married is also a nice way of knowing if you are still desirable to other people and not only your husband or wife alone.

Just like flirting that is carried out by people who are not attached to anyone, flirting when married entail almost the same things. The only difference is that you have to be careful not to fall in love with this person. This is because for single people, they mostly flirt for fun and at the same time to try and find themselves potential candidate they could settle down with in future. When you are married be careful not to lead the person on in such a way to make him or her think you are available for something more than flirting later yet you are not. There is a certain level you should not pass when you are married and it comes to flirting.

If you are flirting when married make sure you can stop just in time if you see the need to stop and it is threatening your relationship with your husband or wife. If you find that you cannot stop flirting with a person you had better seek help. That is because you will be in much trouble if you can not stop and your partner finds out that you have such a problem. Though people who flirt love their partners, the partners might not think that they love them enough and perhaps the reason for their flirting. So be careful while flirting and do not do it when your husband or wife is fully watching you and you know they do not like it. It is not good at all.

Finally if you are flirting when married respect the other person enough not to do things they do not approve. Flirting can be a very good thing but it can also be a very bad thing. This is because when married people flirt they bring back a lot of good things in their relationship. As long as the two people who are married are flirting and all of them accept that their partner is only doing it for fun and not to hurt them, it is a safe thing to do. You might even come to appreciate and love each other more. Make sure before you start flirting with any one that your partner is fine with it and that you are not jeopardizing your relationship with him or her. Go ahead, have fun flirting while married. It certainly is not cheating.

How does it work ? If I get married do I have to say 2 dependents or 1? What about my husband?
Thank you guys…. so Is it better not to or what is the right thing to do? Does it have anything to do if we are doing our taxes together next year?

Nirina Z, Agus Ringgo, Desta, Aming, Meriam B, Jaja M, Richard Kevin, Ingrid Widjanarko

Anne Hathaway earned a Best Actress nod for her role as a recovering addict home for the wedding of her sister.

This is from “The Con Demos” - a limited edition CD TS released for charity. What’s your opinion? Leave a comment and let me know. Oh and here are the lyrics: I married in the sun (tell me where tell me where) Against the stone of buildings built before You and I were born (start again start again) And to my heart confusion rose against The muscles fought so long (fought so long) To control against the pull of One magnet to another magnet To another magnet Now we look up in (tell me who …

As for people who have been struck by cupid’s arrow, marriage is a natural advancement of your relationship. It is a traditional form of committing yourself to just one person, which is viewed as fundamental to numerous cultures and religions. If you are planning on joining formalizing with your partner in marriage, there are a lot of things to keep in mind.

Proposing to your partner can be stressful. Purchasing the right ring and setting the flawless atmosphere for your efforts can be bothersome. As marriage is a serious step in life, and the marriage offer being one of the first ones you take, it is no wonder that you may be nervous! Do not be afraid to ask for help from your partner’s family and friends. They can help you make your proposal as memorable and pleasant as possible.

Planning a wedding is an integral part of marriage. Predicated on culture, much of the planning is handled by one party, while the other takes care of the expenses of the wedding. In numerous instances, it is the bride and her maids who take care of the preparation of the ceremony, while the groom is the one who pays for the arrangements. All The Same, other cultures reverse this role, with the bride’s family paying for the expenses of the wedding and the groom’s family handling the arrangements for the ceremony.

As soon as the wedding is over, the reception is over and the guests have all left, your honeymoon starts. Irrespective of whether you are going on a long trip or staying at home, the honeymoon is a special time for you and your spouse. If you have never lived together before, this is the time where you get to spend all of the time you want with your spouse without having to return home. You’re required and encouraged to have the time of your life, as most people only have one chance to have a honeymoon.

Once the honeymoon is over, the practical challenge begins. Marriage is work, requiring that two people blend their different personalities into a union that operates well for everyone. If you succeed, you remain married and hopefully have happiness. However, if you are unsuccessful, it may result in a divorce, which can be terrible for everyone in your family.

Marriage is not only a big commitment, but also a sacred union and should be treated as such. If you are ready to take the plunge and marry your significant other, take the time to learn all you can about marriage as well as its merits and disadvantages.

Las Vegas is by far the most popular wedding destination in the United States (and perhaps the world). Over 115,000 weddings are held in Las Vegas every year, and it’s a perfect place for couples and celebrities who want to get married quickly and/or unusually.

Las Vegas weddings have the following advantages:

It’s affordable. Vegas weddings can cost less than traditional wedding ceremonies.

It can be held on very short notice. Most chapels in Las Vegas allow couples to book their wedding right away. Others accommodate walk-ins. But make sure you have a marriage license first, available from the Marriage Bureau, Las Vegas, Nevada which is located at 200 S. 3rd Street, 1st floor Las Vegas, NV 89155-1603 (cost at time of writing was $55).

It’s convenient. Las Vegas hotels usually have their own wedding chapels with a wedding coordinator who takes charge of all the preparations, including the flowers, music and marriage celebrant/officiant and can get in touch with the bridal party on the phone or even online.

It’s fun. Vegas weddings offer couples a fun and amusing wedding - even with an Elvis impersonator!

It allows couples to start their honeymoon early. There’s no need for couples to board a plan and head out of town after the wedding. Las Vegas is a great honeymoon destination!

Your Las Vegas wedding checklist:



Set a wedding date.



Decide on a Las Vegas wedding chapel. You can check out Las Vegas wedding chapels online.



Speak to wedding coordinators to find out about wedding packages and compare service and prices.



Book the time and date of the ceremony.



Make plane and hotel reservations for yourself and friends and family attending the wedding.



Make reservations for a celebratory lunch or dinner.



Obtain your marriage license.



Slip away after the ceremony and begin your honeymoon!



Below are some points you also need to consider when getting married in Las Vegas.

Watch out for peak holiday seasons that result in busy wedding days, such as Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve.

Don’t forget about a wedding dress! There are quite a few places in Las Vegas where you can rent wedding dresses if you don’t wish to buy one.

Extremely hot weather in Las Vegas can be uncomfortable when you’re in a tuxedo or wedding gown; not to mention your hair, makeup and wedding cake icing.

Ensure you meet the legal requirements to get married and have a marriage license before the ceremony.

Now you’re ready for the exciting experience of a Las Vegas wedding. Viva Las Vegas!

How to find out if your boyfriend is married or your girlfriend has a husband

New love can burn so brightly that it blinds you to all but what you want to see. Have you stopped to consider that your new boyfriend or girlfriend might have a spouse at home already? I bet you haven’t and why should you suspect anything? I mean he’s charming, good looking and really turns you on right. Well I guess that you wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t have even a little doubt about your new lover so how can you find out the truth?

1: Ask his friends if he’s married

Ok this is an obvious thing to do but many people overlook it. If you know any of his friends then get to know them a bit better and ask them about your boyfriend. Usually they will be only too pleased to tell you all about him, the bad as well as the good so it can be an invaluable source of information. Most people will warn you if there’s anything that you should be concerned about so if they are married, or are already in a relationship, then there is a good chance that they will tell you.

If you find that the friends are less than talkative and avoid your questions then you should start worrying. The person you are talking to may know something that they feel you ought to know but they don’t want to be the one to tell you. They might give you a hint, a little warning like “be careful” or “I don’t want you to get hurt”. This should start alarm bells ringing right away and you should be looking for other ways to find out if he’s married.

2: Ask your boyfriend or girlfriend if they’re married

This sounds even more obvious than asking his friends doesn’t it? But you assume that he’s not married don’t you? If he’s married what is he doing going out with you? A good question so ask it. Be direct and come straight out with it to give yourself the element of surprise.

Now he’s going to say “no of course I’m not married” whether he is or not so you must pay close attention to the way he says it. If he looks uneasy and avoids making eye contact with you when he answers then he could be lying to you. If this happens then ask “are you sure you’re not married”. If he starts to sweat or gets annoyed then that too can be a sign that all is not as it appears.

3: Do a lie detector test on him

No I don’t mean that you should strap him up to a polygraph or anything like that. There is an easier and altogether more relaxing way do do it. All you have to do is talk to him a lot and ask him a lot of questions. You do this anyway right so it’s no big deal.

The trick to detecting lies is to really listen to the answers that he gives you. If today he tells you he’s an airline pilot but last week he told you that he was scared of heights and that he has poor eyesight then this might just be a lie. If he tells you that he’s a doctor but you can’t figure out when he actually studied and worked as one then this could also be a lie.

Look for inconsistencies in the things that he tells you. Remember it only takes one lie to make him a liar. If you can find just one thing that you know is definitely a lie then how can you trust anything else he’s told you?

4: Do an online background check on your boyfriend to find out if he’s married

When you’ve found out all you can about your boyfriend or girlfriend by talking to him or his friends you can do an online background check on him to find out not only whether he’s married or not but also whether he has a criminal record, whether he has arrest warrants or has ever been declared bankrupt. In fact you can often find out practically anything you might want to know and if it all matches with what he’s telling you then you can put your mind to rest and take your relationship to wherever you want it to go. If it doesn’t then walk away.

According to a survey, a growing number of people are searching for marriage advice on the internet, based on the reports of search engines. It’s no surprise really, when recession is at its peak, job uncertainty and layoff is at its highest, inflation rises constantly, the demands for today’s environment necessitates constantly keeping abreast of technological advances in any market for both businessmen and job seekers alike, amongst a zillion other factors. At the same time, infidelity and extra marital affairs are growing at an exponential rate especially among co-workers. In such times, how does one manage to keep up the spice in his/her marriage by investing time, energy, money, creativity, and other resources? Or should he manage to make his spouse try and understand him every time?

First of all, let me make this clear - it is certainly possible to spare a bit of your time /resources for your spouse, no matter how busy you are, or how many deadlines you have to meet, or whatever your mental, physical and financial condition is. If you cannot accept this fact, none of the tips I give you (or the ones you find elsewhere) will do you any good. I can actually prove this to you right now - how much time, energy and money do you spend in thinking up of excuses, fighting with your spouse over trivial matter, surfing uselessly on the internet, watching crap on the idiotbox, and spending money on products / services you don’t really need? (Try keeping a record for just one month, you will be surprised). Can not you utilize this time, energy and money for your beloved, for someone with whom you’ve spoken your marriage vows, for someone with whom you decided to spend the rest of your living life? Now if you’re really serious in leading a happy married life, I’ve written a few tips below that will give you maximum ROI in today’s hectic times, so to speak! But before I begin, you need to understand that work time and family time don’t mix, you need to separate them. While it’s OK to share your experience about your day with your spouse, it is not OK to continue your work throughout your family time. If you work entirely out from your home or you have deadlines and need to bring some of the work, home; set a specific time when you plan to complete it and inform it to your spouse. And when the time comes for it to get over, you better quit!

Below are some tips to spruce up your marriage:

1. Spending quality time together is a great way to enhance your marriage, especially doing something of common interest. Watching movies together cuddled on the patio, dining out, going to parties, gardening, cooking, going to the gym, eating together, going for a weekend getaway, going for a walk, etc are just some of the things you can do together, which you would anyway be doing it. If both of you like to do charity, you can go together and shop for whatever it is you would like to donate. For example, cribs, baby clothes and toys for synergy houses and orphanages, trees / plants for a nearby park, preparing food packets and giving it to the poor, etc. Besides the good that it does, charity also boosts your self respect.

Warning: While spending time together is good for you, so is giving each other space. Encourage each other to take time apart and do the things that they love to, without interfering. A “singles” night out is all right at times. Have trust in your spouse - don’t be suspicious and drill them on details.

2. Surprise your spouse with little low cost gifts that are creative and show that you really think of and care for them. Gifting a flower without any occasion (just creatively say “for being my best friend and life partner”), surprise tickets to a concert, getting up a little early and serving breakfast in bed, saying “I love you, sweetheart” just out of the blue and at a time when your spouse least expected it, offering to give a massage, doing one of their errands without being told, flirt with your spouse in a public place (especially if you don’t generally do it), giving compliments, just once leave the toilet seat up (or down whichever is the opposite of your habit), stealing a kiss, making a greeting card and sending it to his office (or to her at home), gifting a personalized item like a porcelain cup with your mate’s name, etc are some ideas; put on your thinking cap and get creative! Write a love letter and put it in unexpected places. If your spouse travels to work, put it in his CD case, or stick an “I love you” note on the mirror before you go to sleep, so your spouse sees it in the morning and smiles!

3. Keep a memory box and fill it with photograph albums, a sexy dress that you no longer wear (but was gifted by your spouse), old movie and concert tickets, old love letters, birthday cards and anniversary cards, travel brochures of places you have visited and enjoyed, etc. You can open the box once in a while and reminisce about each of them, bring the memories alive!

4. Once in a while, go shopping alone and buy a bunch of things just for your mate. Be careful in what you buy; you don’t want to waste a lot of money in things that will never be used. For example, buy a watch for her that has changeable color rings to match her clothes, colorful buckles and hair bands, etc; a travel shaving kit for him, or maybe a box of beers. Buy something “especially for him / her”, not to be used by you at all.

OK friends, I’ll take a break here; look out for my next article “dos and don’ts to lead a happy and healthy married life”. You will find it at http://www.bharatbhasha.com/family.php/107297